April 2, 2024
Blasphemous Resurrection
A major milestone was reached this week for Ms. Kriofsky and her hand-crafted clothing line, BonkMade, as she completed a cardigan that was started approximately three years ago. While the sweater had been started in mid-2021, Ms. Kriofsky was not actively working on it for most of the time since then, and only picked it back up within the past several weeks.
For the first time in Bonk House History, Ms. Kriofsky completed a gift project more than three hours in advance of when the gift was to be given, setting a new record of three days.
At an annual Easter shindig, Ms. Kriofsky presented Ms. Faith with her new, lovingly crafted garment, stating, “Just as Jesus was resurrected from the dead, I have also resurrected something from the dead.” Ms. Kriofsky then thrust a Christmas-themed gift bag in the general direction of Ms. Faith, who was delighted to find the long awaited sweater folded poorly inside. Tears may have been shed, but for legal purposes, we are unable to confirm or deny this allegation.
Now enjoying a project completion kick, Ms. Kriofsky is now accepting crochet commissions for the 2027 holiday season.
Top Secret, Possibly Embarrassing Pie-In-The-Sky Dream in the Making
Ms. Kriofsky continues her habit of mildly delusional daydreaming, and is reportedly in love with the idea of [REDACTED], but she fears that it’s a bit silly to have as a goal. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with a “silly” goal, Ms. Kriofsky fears that if she voices her dreams, it will make them real. Real goals carry the possibility of real failure, which Ms. Kriofsky may not be strong enough to handle.
According to our inside source, Ms. Kriofsky intends on keeping this fantasy to herself, thus protecting herself from the danger of failure and personal disappointment.
While Ms. Kriofsky refuses to discuss her ideas because verbalizing them may make them real, she did in fact spend definitely real money to order supplies to bring her one step closer to maybe someday possibly bringing [REDACTED] to fruition.
Best Boyfriend This Side of the Mississippi
On Sunday morning Sir Andrew proved exactly why he is lauded as the Best Boyfriend This Side of the Mississippi, when he surprise DoorDashed a breakfast bagel sandwich, hashbrown, and orange juice for Ms. Kriofsky.
While he intended to present this delicious gift to her as breakfast in bed, Ms. Kriofsky insisted on being difficult and chose to wake up and wander into the living room during the 18 second period that Sir Andrew had stepped out of the house to meet the DoorDash driver.
Ms. Kriofsky inhaled the food and promptly fell back asleep.
Book Review: Pachinko
For those of you seeking a heart-wrenching historical novel, look no further than Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. This story recounts the experience of several generations of a Korean family in the early 1900s, their journey, their trauma, and their overarching, seemingly unbreakable bond.
Ms. Kriofsky, our resident pretentious English Literature degree-haver gives the book a well-deserved 5 out of 5 stars. She only cried between 1 to 3 times in her office, and only had to excuse herself to the restroom to actually cry once.
2 responses to “BHW 04.02.2024”
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Bonk haus farm to garment
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farment to garm
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