February 20, 2024
Valentine’s Day Snow Storm
In a continuation of the world’s most infuriating winter, this Valentine’s Day saw the biggest snowfall of the year, with an accumulation of approximately 5 inches. While this velvety blanket of snow would make for a romantic evening in sitting by a fireplace, the Bonk House has neither a fireplace nor the foresight to check the weather forecast. Thus, Ms. Kriofsky and Ms. Faith braved the storm to celebrate existing in each other’s presence at local dining establishment, Khâluna.
The dinner was lovely, though the drive home was substantially less so. Ms. Kriofsky delivered Ms. Faith home safe, before slowly making her way home as well. Upon arrival at the Bonk House, Ms. Kriofsky took Miss Donut outside to go potty, where Miss Donut struck a pose that fans are calling “peak dog-shape.”
Climate Change Hits Northern Wisconsin
With a lack of snow and cold temperatures, the spectacle known as Junkersled has been cancelled, much to the dismay of rednecks everywhere. Organizers made a valiant effort to keep the event on the calendar by securing snow guns to combat the lack of snow. Ultimately, this workaround was foiled by warm weather.
Junkersled is not the first event to be cancelled this year in Northern Wisconsin due to subpar weather conditions; Pond Hockey was cancelled earlier this month as well.
Folks from around the nation are mourning the absence of these events, and reportedly, beer sales plummeted after these events were nixed.
Bonk House Betrayal
On Saturday, Ms. Kriofsky emerged from the Nap Zone to find Sir Andrew in the living room with a bag of Taco Bell. Yet, there was no Crunchwrap Supreme to be found. Ms. Kriofsky whined and sobbed over this betrayal until approximately the very next day, when she took a trip of her own to Taco Bell and secured a Crunchwrap Supreme.
When questioned on the lack of Crunchwrap, Sir Andrew said “[she] just looked so peaceful sleeping away :’)” While Ms. Kriofsky’s beauty is unquestionable, especially while she snores away like a diesel truck, Bonk House residents are left to wonder, does Sir Andrew have beef with Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supremes?
Care Package Essentials
Ms. Mom sent a Valentine’s care package to the Bonk House this week, which contained approximately 8 bags of Strawberries and Crème White Chocolate Bark from Target, along with some lovely spring Legos. Ms. Kriofsky cackled before diving into a bag of the addicting chocolate, and texting Ms. Mom to thank her.
While Ms. Kriofsky has consumed several packages already, the rest of the bags are being rationed, as they are a limited edition Valentine’s treat, and may never be available literally ever again. Ms. Kriofsky has half-heartedly considered learning to craft the bark herself, before deciding that it would be far too much work.
3 responses to “BHW 02.20.2024”
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Sir Andrew’s attorneys don’t wish to comment on his alleged “beef with the beef”
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Sir Andrew should know better than to leave Taco Bell without a crunchwrap supreme in tow.
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he’s been given specific instructions for next time. taco bell is an acceptable reason to wake me up
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thoughts? feelings? worries?